Make you laugh

Make you laugh we will make you laugh

nice idea
25/12/2021

nice idea

Best decoration🥰
25/12/2021

Best decoration🥰

The Chemistry Behind GingerThe chemistry of the compounds that make up the ginger we find at supermarkets – also known a...
25/12/2021

The Chemistry Behind Ginger
The chemistry of the compounds that make up the ginger we find at supermarkets – also known as garden ginger - are responsible for the strong flavor we associate with the spice. What’s more, the compounds are altered when ginger is cooked or dried, influencing the final taste we get when we add the spice to our food.

Fresh raw ginger root consists of various chemical compounds, including zingiberene, which makes up about 30% of the essential oil found in the root. It also consists of other compounds such as ß-sesquiphelandrene and ar-curucumene but the pungency is down to the presence of compounds known as gingerols. Chemically, gingerol is related to capsaicin, the compound that makes chillies so spicy, and piperine, a compound present in black pepper.

Interestingly, some gingerol is altered when ginger is cooked and can even transform into different a different compound. When ginger is heated, gingerol changes and becomes zingerone, due to a reverse aldol reaction. This process softens the pungent taste found in fresh ginger and produces a spicy yet sweet aroma, just like the ginger we can taste in gingerbread.

However, when ginger is dried or slightly heated, gingerol goes through a dehydration process, which forms shogaols – compounds about twice as spicy as gingerol! This explains why when dry, ginger has a much stronger pungency to it than fresh ginger.

It may be more popular over Christmas, but with so many ways to cook and serve ginger, there really isn’t a right or wrong time to enjoy the spice is there?

Facts About Love‍The love knot is a unique Celtic love symbol.When people fall in love, it's a truly wonderful thing. Bu...
23/12/2021

Facts About Love

The love knot is a unique Celtic love symbol.
When people fall in love, it's a truly wonderful thing. But I bet you didn't realize quite how complex it is! Discover everything you need to know about true love with these fun facts about love.

1. Ancient Greek philosophers claimed there are seven different types of love that people can experience. They are:

2. Eros: This love represents s*xual attraction and a lack of control. It is passionate and dissipates quickly, meaning that relationships that are built only on Eros love are short-lived.

3. Philia: This love represents affectionate love and is the type of love you feel for family and close friends. Tied to loyalty, companionship and trust, this kind of love is said to be shared between those who have similar values.

4. Storge: This represents the unconditional love parents have for their children, and it is said to help children to develop through the attachment, encouragement and security of their parents love.

5. Agape: This represents selfless love, or universal love, and is the type of overarching love you feel for other humans, for nature and for a higher power, if you are religious. This love is expressed through things like meditation, spirituality and being in nature.

6. Ludus: This represents playful love, and is the flirty, exciting and non-committal love found at the beginning of relationships.

7. Pragma: This represents long-lasting love, that continues to develop throughout the years, and is shown by couples who have been together for a long time. It shows synchronization and balance, but can only survive if it is nurtured.

8. Philautia: This represents love of the self, which is linked with confidence and self-esteem. This type of love can be unhealthy, and linked to narcissism and arrogance, or healthy and linked to self-care and self-worth.

9. Expressing gratitude to a loved one can instantly make you happier.

10. Monogamous relationships, meaning choosing one person to have a family and live your life with, exist in the animal kingdom as well with many different animals including swans, gibbons, albatrosses and even termites, choosing one mate for life.

11. It is estimated that romantic love, the falling in love stage which is linked with euphoria and butterflies in the stomach, only lasts about a year and is then replaced with the “committed love” stage.

12. 'The triangular theory of love' says that there is a formula for love; that there are two different pairs of components that are mixed and matched to create three kinds of love.

-Romantic love = passion and intimacy.

-Companionate love = intimacy and commitment.

-Fatuous love = passion and commitment.

13. But the best love of all is consummate love, or true love, which consists of passion, intimacy and commitment.

14. The word love is from the Sanskrit word lubhyati, meaning desire.

15. Research suggests that most people will fall in love around seven times before they get married.

Scientific Love Facts

Love is not just an emotion. It has a variety of different physical reactions on areas of the brain that can make you feel like you have butterflies in your tummy, make you feel excited, nervous or even sweaty! These physiological facts about love will explain more about exactly what happens to your body when you fall in love with someone.

16. Research has shown that if two people who are in love stare into each other's eyes for three minutes, their heart rates will synchronize.

17. Falling in love triggers the production of several euphoria-inducing chemicals in your brain that stimulate 12 areas of the brain at the same time.

18. Cuddling triggers the release of a chemical called Oxytocin, commonly called the love or cuddle hormone, which is a natural painkiller and has been known to cure things like headaches completely.

19. Research has shown that traumatizing events, like a break-up, can cause real physical pains in the heart and this condition is called Broken Heart Syndrome. Affecting more women than men, the distress triggers the release of certain chemicals that can weaken the heart, leading to chest pains and shortness of breath.

20. Research has shown that people at an early stage of love have lower levels of serotonin, which is linked with feelings of happiness and well-being, and higher levels of cortisol, which is linked with stress. This could explain why we often act differently, or out of character, when we fall in love.

21. Research around the 'construal level theory' found that reminders of love, like long-term relationships, commitment and intimacy, influence abstract and creative thinking.

22. Research has shown that couples in long term relationships with strong connections can soothe each other in stressful situations or relieve pain simply by holding hands.

23. The sensation of 'butterflies in your stomach' when you fall in love is real, and is caused by rushes of adrenaline.

24. English naturalist, geologist and biologist Charles Darwin proposed that pupils expand during heightened attention and focus and this is true when we have eye contact with someone we love.

25. Research has also shown that people with dilated pupils look more attractive.

26. A study published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that being happily married can help to maintain a healthy, low blood pressure.

27. A rare condition called hypopituitarism means that its sufferers are unable to feel romantic love.

Psychological Facts About Love
Falling in love can make people do some crazy things, without even realizing it. These psychology facts on love will help to shine a light on some of the behaviors we see when people fall in love.

28. Psychological and social research indicates that there is a pattern to how people choose partners. The Matching Hypothesis says that people are more attracted to those that they share a level of attractiveness with, or are equally socially desirable.

29. Research shows that couples who are too similar to each other won't last. Maybe this is where the saying "opposites attract" comes from!

30. Looking at pictures of a loved one can help to ease pain. An experiment showed that people who were in pain and exposed to pictures of their loved ones had their pain reduced far more than those exposed to pictures of acquaintances.

31. It only takes up to four minutes to decide if you like someone, and this is thought to be more about body language and tone of voice, than what's actually being said.

32. A study published in the Journal of Personality followed 245 couples for nine months, and the results showed that being in a relationship made neurotic partners more optimistic and self-confident, because of the positive emotions and experiences associated with the relationship.

33. In a study published in a journal called Personal Relationships, research showed that couples who laughed together were more satisfied in their relationship.

34. Although women are sometimes seen as being more emotional, a study published in The Journal of Social Psychology found that it is actually men who tend to fall in love and say "I love you" more quickly - women supposedly take 15 days to fall in love whilst men only take eight seconds!

35. The American Health and Human Services Department analyzed studies that compared marriage and health, and found that married people reported fewer doctor's visits and shorter hospital stays!

36. A study conducted into food and love showed that people who were thinking about love said a specific kind of food tasted sweeter than those thinking about something neutral or negative.

True Facts About Love
Over the years, people have conducted plenty of studies about the wonders of romantic love, and have shared all sorts of statistics about love. From your chances of finding 'the one' to the percentage of people who are actually happy in their relationships, this amazing fact-based trivia about love might surprise you.

37. A study has shown that the chance of finding love on any given day, if you leave it to chance, is 1 in 562. But you can improve the odds by being more proactive and doing things like going out with friends, for example.

38. A national report called "The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America" showed that 64% of Americans are "very happy" in their romantic relationships with a partner or spouse.

39. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 50% of Americans aged 18 and older were married in 2017, down 8% from 1990.

40. In 2015, for every 1,000 married adults aged 50 and older, 10 had divorced (up from five in 1990).

41. According to a 2013 research study, about nine in ten Americans, or 88%, cited love as a very important reason to get married. Making a lifelong commitment came in at 81% and companionship came in at 76%.

42. A survey of over 5,000 travellers, conducted by HSBC, found that around one in every 50 travelers has met their soul mate on a plane.

43. According to the Guinness World Records, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher broke the record for the longest marriage in history in February 2011; they had been married for 86 years and 290 days.

44. Joseph Andrew Dekenipp, a prisoner in Arizona, broke out of jail so he could meet his girlfriend on Valentine's Day.

45. According to a 2020 survey, 12% of Americans said they found their spouse or partner on an internet dating site.

Cute Facts About Love

Swans symbolize love and are often shown with their necks intertwined to form a heart.
From love symbols to romantic poetry, these random facts about love will make you smile.

46. Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love and beauty.

47. Venus is the Roman goddess of love, and the equivalent of Aphrodite.

48. Venus and Aphrodite are both represented by a swan. Swans symbolize love and are often shown sitting together, touching beaks, their necks intertwined to form the shape of a heart.

49. In Roman mythology, Venus gave birth to Cupid who became the god of love. He is usually depicted as a child, or cherub, with wings and a magic bow which shoots golden arrows that make people fall in love.

50. Juno is the Roman goddess of marriage and childbirth.

51. Red roses are a symbol of love, and are linked to the goddess Aphrodite.

52. The love knot is a unique Celtic love symbol, which is made up of two ropes joined together in a tricky knot so that the ropes seem like one.

53. The heart shape has long been a popular symbol of love (even though it is nothing like the shape of our physical hearts!)

54. Ribbons and frills are linked to romance. Hundreds of years ago, knights would ride into battle with a ribbon or scarf given to them by their beloved, and women would drop their lace handkerchiefs in the hope that a man would demonstrate his interest by picking it up and giving it back to her.

55. Doves mate for life and so are used as a symbol of love and fidelity - some people even release doves on their wedding day.

56. The Claddagh is an Irish love symbol commonly used in jewelry, with a ring bearing the Claddagh often used as an engagement ring. The symbol has three parts: the crown that symbolizes loyalty, the heart that symbolizes love, and two hands that symbolize friendship.

57. The Shell is also used to represent love, and the Roman goddess Venus is often depicted emerging from the sea in a scallop shell.

58. The harp is a symbol of love; it represents devotion and connects heaven and earth.

59. The maple leaf also represents love in North America, where a stork weaving a maple branch into a nest symbolizes the love of welcoming a new child.

What a beautifull trees
23/12/2021

What a beautifull trees

Why did the color green become associated with ChristmasThe association of green at Christmas doesn’t have quite a signi...
23/12/2021

Why did the color green become associated with Christmas

The association of green at Christmas doesn’t have quite a significant defining moment like the color red.

Many associations point back to the flora and concept of bringing an evergreen tree into the home around Christmas time.

The first documentation of bringing a tree into the home is in Roman culture when they celebrated Saturnalia.

This was to honor the God Saturn and was celebrated from December 17 to 23.

Traditions involved decorating the home with holly and evergreen trees, which would be decorated with small figures.

This is one of the oldest examples of trees being brought inside during the winter to decorate the home.

The color green is widely associated with Christmas because we decorate our homes with trees, holly, and mistletoe.

What other colors were used at Christmas in history?
Traditional Christmas items like Christmas hat and candy canes and Christmas tree decorations

Victorian Christmas cards show that various combinations of colors were paired when it came to Christmas.

Victorian cards use color combinations like red and green, red and blue, blue and green, blue and white.

Original decorations would have come from natural elements found at that time of year across the flora and fauna, which had an array of colors.

Many are still reflected at Christmas today such as snow, icicles, robins, holly, and mistletoe.

Santa Claus was even depicted wearing different colored suits, from red to green and blue.

Where did the color red originate in association with Christmas?
Red candle on a Christmas tree branch
Although red has been a prominent color used at Christmas, it is said that Coca-Cola was the one who made it a dominant color.

In 1931 Coca-Cola advertisements became more popular in magazines, especially when approaching the holidays.

One of the first advertisements was commissioned to illustrator Haddon Sundblom, with the instructions of creating an advertisement with Santa Claus drinking Coca-Cola.

Sundblom wanted to create an image of the real Santa, rather than of someone dressed as Santa.

This was a turning point in history because the illustration of Santa was so lifelike that it became the image representation of the real Father Christmas.

Santa wore red and from then on, Coca-Cola has continued to advertise with its red branding and hence becoming an associated color of Christmas.

very creative
23/12/2021

very creative

Тhink about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?There’s a ...
20/12/2021

Тhink about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?

There’s a grey area in dating many people get hung up on — a grey area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than the other. This grey area causes real, tangible issues.

“She said she’s not interested, but she still flirts with me, so what do I need to do to get her?”
“Well, I know she likes me, but she didn’t call me back last weekend, what should I do?”
“He treats me well when he’s around, but he’s hardly around. What does that mean?”

Most dating advice exists to “solve” this grey area for people. Say this line. Text her this. Call him this many times. Wear that.

Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving.

Frustration with this grey area also drives many people to unnecessary manipulation, drama and game-playing — like “forgetting” a jacket at her place so she’ll have to call you again, or “making” him wait until he’s taken you on three dates before you’ll sleep with him.

These things may seem clever, exciting, even logical to some people who are stuck or frustrated. But this dating advice misses the point. If you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost.

Let me ask again: Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?

What does that say about you? That you believe you need to convince people to be with you? (Hint: it implies that you wouldn’t even want to be with yourself.)

You wouldn’t buy a dog that bites you all the time. You wouldn’t be friends with someone who regularly ditches you. And you wouldn’t work a job that doesn’t pay you. Then why the hell are you trying to make a girlfriend out of a woman who doesn’t want to date you? Where’s your fu***ng self-respect?

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The Law of F**k Yes or No
The entrepreneur Derek Sivers once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.” It served him well in the business world and now I’d like to apply it to the dating world. And because I’m more of a vulgar as***le than Derek is, I’ll christen mine The Law of F**k Yes or No.

The Law of F**k Yes or No states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “F**k Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of F**k Yes or No also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must also respond with a “F**k Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

As you can see, The Law of F**k Yes or No implies that both parties must be enthusiastic about the prospect of one another’s company. Why?

Because attractive, non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for people who they are not excited to be with and who are not excited to be with them. F**k yeah.

The Many Benefits of F**k Yes or No
This may sound a bit idealistic to some. But The Law of F**k Yes or No has many tangible benefits on your dating life:

No longer be strung along by people who aren’t that into you. End all of the headaches. End the wishing and hoping. End the disappointment and anger that inevitably follows. Start practicing self-respect. Become the rejector, not the rejected.
No longer pursue people you are so-so on for ego purposes. We’ve all been there. We were so-so about somebody, but we went along with it because nothing better was around. And we all have a few we’d like to take back. No more.
Consent issues are instantly resolved. If someone is playing games with you, playing hard to get, or pressuring you into doing something you’re unsure about, your answer is now easy. Or as I often like to say in regards to dating, “If you have to ask, then that’s your answer.”
Establish strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Maintaining strong boundaries not only makes one more confident and attractive, but also helps to preserve one’s sanity in the long-run.
Always know where you stand with the other person. Since you’re now freeing up so much time and energy from people you’re not that into, and people who are not that into you, you now find yourself perpetually in interactions where people’s intentions are clear and enthusiastic. Sweet!
The Law of F**k Yes or No is applicable to dating, s*x, relationships, even friendships. You may have absolutely nothing in common with that bartender. But they’re hot and are interested in getting down. Is it a “F**k Yes!” for s*x? It is? Then game on.

Wrapped up in that sweet guy who treats you so well, except goes weeks without calling you and suddenly disappears after a couple drinks and a round of the horizontal polka? Been wondering if he really likes you? Do his excuses of being so busy all the time seem legit? It doesn’t sound like the answer is a “F**k yes.” Then it’s time to move on.

Making out with a girl at your house and every time you go to take her shirt off she swats your hands away? That is not a “F**k Yes,” my friend, therefore, it is a no and you shouldn’t pressure her. The best s*x is “F**k Yes” s*x — i.e., both people are shouting “F**k Yes” as they hop between the sheets together. If she’s not hopping, then there’s no fu***ng.

(Hint Fellas: This is a great time to ask the girl why she’s not comfortable, and what she’s looking for from you. That, by itself — you know, treating her like a human and empathizing with her — often creates a lot more clarity going forward.)

Want to date that woman you met last weekend but she keeps ignoring your texts and calls? Not sure what to say or do, especially since she seemed so happy to go out with you when you initially met her? Well, my friend, this is obviously not a “F**k Yes.” Therefore, it is a “No.” Delete her number and move on.

F**k Yes or No applies to relationships as well. My wife used to work with a guy who got married because “it seemed like the right thing to do.”

You do your taxes because “it seems like the right thing to do.” You wipe your infant’s ass because “it seems like the right thing to do.” You don’t marry someone because “it seems like the right thing to do.” You marry them because you can’t fu***ng imagine ever not wanting to be with them.

Unsurprisingly, four years later, he was cheating on his wife every chance he got. The marriage was not a “F**k Yes” for him. It should have been a “No” from Day 1.

Sometimes The Law of F**k Yes or No will apply differently on different levels. You may be a “F**k Yes” for friendship with someone, but mildly excited to have s*x with them. Therefore, it’s a no. You may be a “F**k Yes” on banging someone’s brains out, but a definite “No” on actually spending any time with them. Apply the law to your decision-making as it suits your needs.

The Law of F**k Yes or No doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be falling in knee-wobbling love at first sight. It doesn’t even mean you have to be completely convinced that someone is right for you. You can be “F**k Yes” about getting to know someone better. You can be “F**k Yes” about seeing someone again because you think there’s something there. You can be “F**k Yes” about giving things a few months to pan out and see if you can fix the problems in the relationship. You can be “F**k Yes” about sticking it out in an unhappy relationship because you can see the long-term potential in the future.

The Most Important Question of Your LifeTheoryЕverybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy ...
20/12/2021

The Most Important Question of Your Life
Theory
Еverybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing s*x and relationships, to look perfect and make money, and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.

Everyone would like that—it’s easy to like that.

If I ask you, “What do you want out of life?” and you say something like, “I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like,” it’s so ubiquitous it doesn’t even mean anything.

A more interesting question—a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before—is what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?

Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence—but not everyone wants to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, and obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the blasé confines of an infinite cubicle hell. People want to be rich without the risk, without the sacrifice, without the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth.1

Everybody wants to have great s*x and an awesome relationship—but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings, and the emotional psychodrama to get there.

And so they settle. They settle and wonder “What if?” for years and years until the question morphs from “What if?” into “Was that it?” And when the lawyers go home and the alimony check is in the mail they say, “What was that for?” If not for their lowered standards and expectations 20 years prior, then what for?

Happiness requires struggle. The positive is the side effect of handling the negative. You can only avoid negative experiences for so long before they come roaring back to life.2

At the core of all human behavior, our needs are more or less similar. Positive experience is easy to handle. It’s negative experience that we all, by definition, struggle with. Therefore, what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire, but by what bad feelings we’re willing and able to sustain to get us to those good feelings.

What we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire, but by what bad feelings we’re willing and able to sustain to get us to those good feelings

People want an amazing physique. But you don’t end up with one unless you legitimately appreciate the pain and physical stress that comes with living inside a gym for hour upon hour,3 unless you love calculating and calibrating the food you eat, planning your life out in tiny plate-sized portions.4

People want to start their own business or become financially independent. But you don’t end up a successful entrepreneur unless you find a way to appreciate the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and work insane hours on something you have no idea whether or not it will be successful.

People want a partner, a spouse. But you don’t end up attracting someone amazing without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the s*xual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It’s part of the game of love. You can’t win if you don’t play.

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” The question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?” The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences, but the quality of your negative experiences. And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.

To get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.

There’s a lot of crappy advice out there that says, “You’ve just got to want it enough!”

Everybody wants something. And everybody wants something enough. They just aren’t aware of what it is they want, or rather, what they want “enough.”

Because if you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the beach body, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs. If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pi***ng off one person or ten thousand.

If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image, a false promise. Maybe what you want isn’t what you want—you just enjoy wanting. Maybe you don’t actually want it at all.

Sometimes I ask people, “How do you choose to suffer?” These people tilt their heads and look at me like I have twelve noses.5

But I ask because that tells me far more about you than your desires and fantasies. Because you have to choose something. You can’t have a pain-free life. It can’t all be roses and unicorns.

And ultimately that’s the hard question that matters. Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have similar answers. The more interesting question is the pain.

What is the pain that you want to sustain?

That answer will actually get you somewhere. It’s the question that can change your life. It’s what makes me, me and you, you. It’s what defines and separates us, and ultimately brings us together.

For most of my adolescence and young adulthood, I fantasized about being a musician—a rock star, in particular. Any badass guitar song I heard, I would always close my eyes and envision myself up onstage playing it to the screams of the crowd, people absolutely losing their minds to my sweet finger-noodling.

This fantasy could keep me occupied for hours on end. The fantasizing continued through college, even after I dropped out of music school and stopped playing seriously.

But even then it was never a question of if I’d ever be up playing in front of screaming crowds, but when. I was biding my time before I could invest the proper amount of time and effort into getting out there and making it work. First, I needed to finish school. Then, I needed to make money. Then, I needed to find the time. Then… nothing.

Despite fantasizing about this for over half of my life, the reality never came. And it took me a long time and a lot of negative experiences to finally figure out why: I didn’t actually want it.

I was in love with the result—the image of me onstage, people cheering, me rocking out, pouring my heart into what I’m playing—but I wasn’t in love with the process. And because of that, I failed at it. Repeatedly. Hell, I didn’t even try hard enough to fail at it. I hardly tried at all.

The daily drudgery of practicing, the logistics of finding a group and rehearsing, the pain of finding gigs and actually getting people to show up and give a s**t. The broken strings, the blown tube amp, hauling 40 pounds of gear to and from rehearsals with no car.

It’s a mountain of a dream and a mile-high climb to the top. And what took me a long time to discover was that I didn’t like to climb much. I just liked to imagine the top.

Our culture would tell me that I’ve somehow failed myself, that I’m a quitter or a loser. Self-help would say that I either wasn’t courageous enough, determined enough or I didn’t believe in myself enough.6 The entrepreneurial/start-up crowd would tell me that I chickened out on my dream and gave in to my conventional social conditioning.7 I’d be told to do affirmations8 or join a mastermind group or manifest, or something.

But the truth is far less interesting than that: I thought I wanted something, but it turns out I didn’t. End of story.

I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight, but only the victory.

And life doesn’t work that way.

Who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape.9 People who enjoy long work weeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it.10 People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist life are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.11

This is not a call for willpower or “grit.”12 This is not another admonition of “no pain, no gain.”13

This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes. So, friend, choose your struggles wisely.

This article is an updated excerpt from my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k: A Counterintuitive Guide to Living A Good Life

(Cover image: “More Questions Than Answers” by Tom Waterhouse is licensed under CC BY 2.0)

How to Know Who You Really Are
We all think we know ourselves well, but psychological studies show otherwise. In fact, most of us are somewhat deluded about ourselves. I put together a 22-page ebook explaining how we can come to know ourselves better, just fill out your email in the form.

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