Miranda Faith Memorial Foundation

09/27/2026

Disclaimer: Only the photos were sharpened by AI because they are nearly 30 yrs old. I wrote the post myself.

CUSTODY AND VISITATION ARE SAFETY DECISIONS.

It is the responsibility of the family court system to ensure the safety of the children who are caught in a custody battle.

This means checking your biases and assumptions when making decisions that could affect the lives of the children.

It also means paying close attention to what the mother tells you when she is concerned for the lives of her children.

-My attorney told me I MUST allow Charles to see his daughter. If I didn’t, it would look really bad on me. The judge would judge me harshly.

-Despite my desperate pleas for supervised visitation, my attorney told me that it was impossible because he had not physically harmed the child.

-During the stalking conviction, he was granted joint custody and was allowed to keep his job as a firefighter/paramedic.
When domestic violence, coercive control, stalking, or threats are present, decisions about access to children can also affect the safety of the child and the survivor.

In my situation, the relationship had ended, but his access to me had not completely ended. We shared a child. There was still a connection. There was still access. And there was still an opportunity for control.

Miranda was three years old. She couldn't assess danger. She couldn't create a safety plan. She couldn't call an advocate and explain what was happening. The adults and the systems around her had to make those assessments for her.

When Miranda was killed by her father, my own attorney stated that she wasn't representing Miranda. She was representing me and therefore had no obligation to protect her. This was to release herself from all responsibility after I begged for supervised visitation.

So when I look back today, I don't simply see a custody decision. I see a safety decision. Just because there was never any physical violence didn't mean he wasn't dangerous.



A victim knows her abuser better than anyone, so taking her concerns at face value is a MUST!

Everyone should know that the abuser KNOWS how to get to his victim, and that is by going for the person/people she loves the most. Her children. If there are no children, it's her parents or pets.

An abusive parent does NOT make a good parent, and the courts desire to "preserve" the relationship between abusive parent and child only increases the risk of domestic homicide and further abuse.

This isn't about blame:

It's about:
• Recognizing what we couldn't see then-You don’t know what you don’t know.
• Understanding what we know now-when it comes to safety for survivors/children.
• Identifying opportunities for intervention
• Making the next family safer
www.miranda.faith
1995-1999 💜🦋

09/25/2026

The Brain Under Threat:

AMYGDALA
Detects danger

HIPPOCAMPUS
Organizes memory

PREFRONTAL CORTEX
Reasoning & decision-making

Survival changes how information is processed.

Amygdala: The Alarm System
Job: Detects potential danger and activates the survival response.
During trauma: The amygdala can become highly reactive, rapidly signaling threat and activating fight, flight, freeze, or other defensive responses, sometimes before deliberate thinking catches up.
What professionals may see: Hypervigilance, fear, agitation, startling easily, shutting down, or reacting strongly to something that seems minor. The victim may even laugh or giggle.

Hippocampus: The Memory Organizer
Job: Helps organize memories and place experiences in context. What happened, where, and when.
During trauma: High stress can interfere with how memories are encoded and retrieved. A survivor may remember vivid sensory fragments while struggling with sequence, timing, or peripheral details.
What professionals may see: Gaps, fragmented recall, difficulty giving a perfectly chronological account, or remembering additional details later.

Prefrontal Cortex: The Thinking & Decision-Making Center. This actually doesn’t fully develop until we are around 25/26 yrs old. This is why I made the stupid decision to get married at 23. I blame my prefrontal cortex. 😅
Job: Supports reasoning, planning, attention, impulse control, and weighing options.
During acute threat: Survival systems can dominate while some prefrontal functions become less efficient. The brain prioritizes immediate survival over careful, long-term planning.
Ex: A bear is chasing you. You don’t have time to plan your escape. YOU RUN FIRST! (In all honesty, you're never supposed to run from a bear). 😬
What professionals may see: Difficulty making decisions, trouble concentrating, seeming indecisive, or choosing what appears from the outside to be an “illogical” option.
When someone is experiencing trauma, their alarm system may be screaming, their memory system may be struggling to organize what happened, and their thinking brain may have fewer resources available for careful decision-making all at the same time.

This is why, when a victim is being interviewed right after physical abuse, she/he may not be able to remember the events in a linear fashion. Fragments begin to filter in as the days pass because her brain is remembering and then organizing. This is also true for sexual assault survivors or anyone who has fallen victim to a violent crime.

So instead of asking:
“Why isn't she/he making better decisions?”
Ask:
“What is her/his brain trying to do to help her survive right now?”
www.miranda.faith

09/22/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CGxL1wXDx/

Send a message to learn more

07/09/2026

This speaking engagement has been planned for months, and I am so excited to continue my presence at La. Tech.
❤️💙

06/30/2026

06/20/2026

Supporting survivors of domestic violence. Please explore miranda.faith, like, share, support, and share with other survivors who may need resources 💜🦋.

02/27/2026

Let's talk about bravery.

I have submitted proposals to a few conferences, facilitating my own workshop on Intimate partner stalking, in addition to working with my friend and colleague on doing a 2-day training workshop on intimate partner stalking and domestic violence.
Here is where the "bravery" part comes in.

It hit me today that there is a very important added element we can use in our stalking workshop AND domestic violence workshops. Something disturbing and sinister, yet VERY effective. And that is...I can use many of the terrible and terrifying messages Charles used to leave on my answering machine. All recorded. His voice. His anger. His sweet and apologetic tone turned to unhinged rage.
Yes, this will trigger me. NO, I will not sleep well for a while. Yes, I will have to keep seeing my therapist 😅. Don't get me wrong. I am actually excited about this!

But here is what is most important to me. If dredging up the sound of his voice will DRIVE IT HOME to fellow advocates, law enforcement, attorneys, judges, and even survivors, etc, then so be it.

I can literally share an entire timeline of the stalking for which he was arrested, and the buildup before he decided to murder. You see, stalking is slow death by homicide.

What I have learned while working with Justin and listening to other people who train at these conferences is that LIVED experience is the most effective. And boy, did I live it.

So, I will be brave and have these tapes converted to digital and use them to hopefully help save lives. Because unless you actually hear the "crazy" and the unhinged anger, it's hard to believe it actually happened. Even to this day, after 27 years, some just don't get it, don't want to believe it, or just flat out refuse to try and understand how dangerous stalking is.

Carry on. I will keep you all posted✌️.

Send a message to learn more